Making Mountains interview – by Simone

For those of you that may have missed it, here is the interview I did with Belinda Mountain. Thank you for the opportunity, I so appreciate it!   http://www.makingmountains.co.za/2017/03/02/meet-mom-simone/ In Simone’s words: On the afternoon of 15 September 2015 our lives changed forever. Our beautiful, perfect daughter Isabella, 7 ½ months old, died tragically. “Belsie” asphyxiated on her own vomit in her cot and help was too late to bring her back. On the morning of 4 May 2016, our son Thomas was born prematurely at 26 weeks and 3 days. We had much hope for his survival but he only…

Good morning my darlings – by Simone

My darlings As I write this I am sitting on your bench in your resting place. On my way to begin my day today I felt a pull, a need, an urge, to come and spend some quiet time with you. To ask for your blessing on today. And so here I sit. Saying my prayers to you, asking that you watch over us, reminding you of how much I love you and how I think of you all the time, too many times a day to count. Belsie, yesterday marked 18 months since you left us, surreal and unbelievable…

Packing away your bedroom – by Simone 

My darling Belsie This morning was a big morning for me. I took the step of packing up your room. For a long time after you died your room was left just as it was. Slowly bit by bit we have taken certain things from your room – we took the name off your door, took a few things down to put on our memory wall. Some of your clothes that had specific memories for me, I have given to my step-mom Debbie to make into a memory blanket. But there was still a lot of stuff in your room.…

Today is your 2nd birthday Bella Pops – by Simone

My darling Bella   Today is your 2nd birthday. Happy birthday precious baby girl! I am specifically not talking in the past tense – “today would have been your birthday” because today is your birthday. And today I am choosing to celebrate the day you were born, your birth day rather than to mourn that we didn’t get to celebrate your 2nd birthday with you. And doing this is hard, I am not going to lie. Because I am just so so very sad about all the time we didn’t get to have together precious girl. All the hugs and…

Resilience – we all have it! – by Simone

  “Although our world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it,” Helen Keller.   Resilience – it’s a subject I have spent so much time thinking about and reading about. What makes some people more resilient than others? Is it life experience that shapes resilience? Or is it your approach to life that drives resilience? What makes some people able to pick themselves up and carry on whereas others can fall into a deep depression without being able see the wood from the trees, any light at all? Is it about being a glass…

Good morning my beautiful children

Good morning my darling Bella and Thomas   Life this last few weeks seems to have been too frantic, too busy, and I feel like I have been in some ways completely pulled into and in other ways completely removed from it, watching it go on around me. I don’t have the energy to multi-task like I usually do and I am feeling pretty flat to be honest. But I am on the treadmill so I keep on moving forward, like it or not.   And so I haven’t been to your special place for about 2 weeks now. But…

How I wish I could help – by Simone

Loss, it’s all around us all the time. There is almost nobody who is unaffected by loss, it’s just the depth and gravity that is different. And when your loss is an “unnatural” one, it’s just that much harder to deal with.   Since my children died, I have witnessed other people go through loss of various kinds, but a loss very recently has rocked me to my core. People I know, not well, lost their little boy last week when he drowned. It’s this kind of unexpected, out of the blue loss, like with our darling Bella, that is…

Goodbye 2016, hello 2017 – by Simone 

Another year, and wow, what a year it’s been! Good, great, bad, awful and everything in between.   But before I reflect on the year that has passed and the upcoming one, the last few days I have been privileged enough to read a life changing book called “The Book of Joy”. It is a recount of the week that Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama spent together in India to mark the Dalai Lama’s 80th birthday. All their conversations were around joy, and how to recognize and promote joy in your life and in others. I will write…

Christmas time… – by Simone

My darling Bella and Thomas These milestone days don’t seem to get easier. Oh how palpable my feeling of missing has been the last few days. Not an hour goes by that I don’t think of you, and how life would/should have been. Today is different to this time last year. Last year was raw, my grief often out of control, all consuming. I wasn’t able to step out of my grief to celebrate Christmas at all. I couldn’t laugh, couldn’t pretend, could barely function. This year, a year further down the track, a year of walking this grief journey…

Bella and Thomas’ final resting place – by Simone 

Our darling children Today we laid your ashes to rest. Together, as they should be. In a very very beautiful and special place that we will be able to visit as often as we like. Getting to this point has been a long and hard journey. How do you ever find the perfect place for your child’s ashes to be? But I know that it’s also an important part of the journey of grief. Another milestone that has to be reached. We have visited and thought of so many different places and options and nothing ever felt quite right, until…