Happiness and love at your resting place – by Simone

This afternoon I had the most amazing experience at The Vineyard Hotel, at your bench, where your ashes are buried. I met a dear friend there (whose little boy went to heaven a year ago) for a catch up and as we walked down towards tyour bench I was met with this sight. A perfectly planned marriage proposal which was about to take place. We chatted to the guy who informed us that his girlfriend would soon be arriving and that he hoped she would say yes. He had sent her on a “treasure hunt” to all their favourite places…

Your Photobooks my Belsie – by Simone

Hello my darling daughter   So for 3 years I have been putting off doing your Photobooks as I just have not been able to bring myself to immerse myself in your photos, to sort through and choose the “best” ones of you to put in a book. Because every single photo that I do have of you is precious and tells a story, evokes a memory. I have tried a few times, and every time only gotten through a few photos before giving up, just finding it too difficult for me to do and requiring too much strength.  …

A letter to you my darling Thomas – by Simone

Hello my darling little  boy   I don’t often write just to you, its normally to you and your sister, or just to your sister. I guess its a function of losing you when we did, never really getting the opportunity to know you properly, to hold you and love you and to see your personality develop. You were also so very very sick in my tummy for the last 13 days and were born with absolutely everything stacked against you. As I have written about before, when they were wheeling me into theatre to deliver you, I remember praying,…

My dream of you – by Simone

Hello my baby girl I dreamt of you a few nights ago. I haven’t done that in a long time. And the dream was so so real. It was in our house, in your room. It was all very very vivid. You had died and we had put your body back in your cot so that we could go and look at you when we wanted to. I was chatting to your dad about how much I missed you and he said I should go and look at you in your cot and give you a kiss and maybe it…

Hospice Talk Video – by Simone

Someone was kind enough to video my talk that I did so here it is for anyone who might be interested. There is a small portion towards the end that was not videoed and so I included the text for completeness sake.

Hospice Annual talk – Simone

  I had the privilege of speaking at the annual Hospice events in Grahamstown and Kenton this weekend. It was completely daunting but also great to be able to connect with people and hopefully make a difference in some way. Below is a clip of the slideshow I put together that goes with the talk as well as the talk itself in video form with the text below.   It is both an extreme privilege and an incredibly daunting task to stand up here and talk to you today. I look out and see so many faces that I recognise,…

A letter to my darling Belsie, 3 years after you left us – by Simone

My baby girl It’s 3 years ago today that you left us on this earth. As your dad said to me this morning, sometimes it feels like only half an hour ago, other times an entire lifetime ago. But the one thing that doesn’t change is that we miss you so very desperately every single day and that you are never ever not with us, in our hearts. There is not a day that goes by where I don’t wonder how different life would be if you were still alive. I mourn not only for you but for the loss…

How to help your grieving child – by Simone

I have been thinking about writing something around helping children with grief and the need was cemented for me when a mom reached out specifically asking about this subject. I think about it a lot – how to help Murray with his grief. It can be really tough to know what to do and how to assist him, especially when you are feeling depleted yourself, unable to actually even comprehend your own feelings. In writing this I reached out to other moms who have lost children and asked them to share ideas in terms of how they have helped their…

Surrogacy – the good, the bad and the unsuccessful – by Simone

I think that finally we have got to the end of this “trying to have another baby” journey. And it hasn’t ended in the way we had hoped, not at all, but I am hoping that finally, maybe, we can make a bit of peace with this. You see, we have walked pretty far down the surrogacy road the last few months. And it has ended unsuccessfully, not through lack of trying, hoping, wishing and praying and with all the will in the world from everyone, but because a medical complication has made it impossible for our chosen surrogate to…