Oh my darling little, tiny Thomas. Today 4 years ago, you entered our world in such a big hurry at only 26 weeks and 4 days. Today is both your birthday but also the day that you died. And those 2 things are impossible to reconcile. I had tried so so hard to keep you inside me but my body had different ideas and I still have so much guilt for that. That I couldn’t keep you safe, that my body couldn’t do what it needed to to sustain you. Gosh, the 2 week build up to your arrival is…