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4 years today darling Belsie – by Simone

It’s 4 years today my darling Belsie, since you died. 4 whole years. In some ways I remember every single moment of that day like it was yesterday, in other ways it feels like a couple of lifetimes ago. The one thing I do know for sure is that not a single day goes past that I don’t miss you so very very deeply and long to see you again. As per always we went away over this time, and I really do find that this makes it easier to bear. And we had a really lovely weekend together, just…

Birthday reflections – by Simone

It was my birthday this weekend. Since Bella died, birthdays for me have been hard. She died 3 weeks after my 34th birthday and so it always felt that that specific birthday marked the last time I innocently went on and celebrated life, completely oblivious to what was to come, how much our lives were going to be completely changed forever. How my heart was going  to be shattered into a million pieces and how hard it was going to be to paste it together again. My first birthday after Bella died, Thomas had also just died and I was…

Practical things I wish I had known the day my children died – by Simone

It recently came to my attention that a friend of mine who is a remarkable photographer is part of an organisation overseas where they give the gift of photographic memories to families that have experienced stillbirths, premature births or have children with serious and terminal illnesses. The fact that she is able to give this gift to parents, something physical which they will have to hold on to, and remember their loved one by is remarkable. And it takes a truly special individual to be able to do this. Which she is.   And this got me thinking about the…

Today 3 years ago my darling Thomas, you were born and then left us – by Simone

Today my darling Thomas, three years ago, you were born. You gave us a precious 3 hours, and then went to be with your sister in heaven. I have been trying to think of today as your birthday, the day you were born, rather than the day you died. But it’s so so damn hard. Because this day is shadowed by the fact that you died. And the traumatic way that you came into this world. And these anniversary days just suck, period, no matter what you try to do, and how you try to frame it. They are just…

Pushing out of my comfort zone – by Simone

After everything that happened last year and the pressure I put my body under, I made a promise to myself to look after “me” more. To sleep more, stress less, exercise more, eat more healthily, push myself less. And most importantly to learn to listen to my body. To go back to basics a bit and not to stubbornly just push because that is what I have always done. Some of these things have been easier to do than others. And one of the big areas I have been focusing on is trying to get my body stronger through exercise.…

My dream of you – by Simone

Hello my baby girl I dreamt of you a few nights ago. I haven’t done that in a long time. And the dream was so so real. It was in our house, in your room. It was all very very vivid. You had died and we had put your body back in your cot so that we could go and look at you when we wanted to. I was chatting to your dad about how much I missed you and he said I should go and look at you in your cot and give you a kiss and maybe it…

Hospice Talk Video – by Simone

Someone was kind enough to video my talk that I did so here it is for anyone who might be interested. There is a small portion towards the end that was not videoed and so I included the text for completeness sake.

A letter to my darling Belsie, 3 years after you left us – by Simone

My baby girl It’s 3 years ago today that you left us on this earth. As your dad said to me this morning, sometimes it feels like only half an hour ago, other times an entire lifetime ago. But the one thing that doesn’t change is that we miss you so very desperately every single day and that you are never ever not with us, in our hearts. There is not a day that goes by where I don’t wonder how different life would be if you were still alive. I mourn not only for you but for the loss…

How to help your grieving child – by Simone

I have been thinking about writing something around helping children with grief and the need was cemented for me when a mom reached out specifically asking about this subject. I think about it a lot – how to help Murray with his grief. It can be really tough to know what to do and how to assist him, especially when you are feeling depleted yourself, unable to actually even comprehend your own feelings. In writing this I reached out to other moms who have lost children and asked them to share ideas in terms of how they have helped their…