Pushing out of my comfort zone – by Simone

After everything that happened last year and the pressure I put my body under, I made a promise to myself to look after “me” more. To sleep more, stress less, exercise more, eat more healthily, push myself less. And most importantly to learn to listen to my body. To go back to basics a bit and not to stubbornly just push because that is what I have always done. Some of these things have been easier to do than others. And one of the big areas I have been focusing on is trying to get my body stronger through exercise.…

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My talk to DSG – by Simone

  I have had the privilege the last 2 days to talk at my old school DSG, about grief and loss. I felt really honoured to be able to interact with these amazing young woman in their most formative years. Too many of them have already faced grief and loss, or had to support friends who are grieving. As I said to them, I so wish that I could protect them from the pain of loss and grief, but I know that I can’t so I hope that in this way I am able to have a bit of an…

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Today is your 4th birthday Bella – by Simone

Happy 4th birthday my precious angel daughter! Oh how clearly I remember that day you were born. You being placed in my arms for the first time on that Sunday, so calm and peaceful, no screaming the room down as your brother had done! You were a joy from that moment on. And we continue to find times of joy through your memory and through what you continue to teach us, even though you are not here. This year your birthday feels slightly different in that your darling brother is so so excited about it and has insisted that we…

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2019 – I am coming for you! – by Simone

Wow, this has been a really tough post to write! I have felt exhausted just at the thought of it. But I also know that the discipline of reflecting on the past and planning for the future is really important and a clear commitment to myself. I have come back from a lovely, relaxing holiday but I am still feeling exhausted and could quite happily have at least another 2 weeks of holiday! But reality and responsibility calls and that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I know that I normally thrive with routine and discipline so let’s give 2019 all…

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Happiness and love at your resting place – by Simone

This afternoon I had the most amazing experience at The Vineyard Hotel, at your bench, where your ashes are buried. I met a dear friend there (whose little boy went to heaven a year ago) for a catch up and as we walked down towards tyour bench I was met with this sight. A perfectly planned marriage proposal which was about to take place. We chatted to the guy who informed us that his girlfriend would soon be arriving and that he hoped she would say yes. He had sent her on a “treasure hunt” to all their favourite places…

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Your Photobooks my Belsie – by Simone

Hello my darling daughter   So for 3 years I have been putting off doing your Photobooks as I just have not been able to bring myself to immerse myself in your photos, to sort through and choose the “best” ones of you to put in a book. Because every single photo that I do have of you is precious and tells a story, evokes a memory. I have tried a few times, and every time only gotten through a few photos before giving up, just finding it too difficult for me to do and requiring too much strength.  …

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A letter to you my darling Thomas – by Simone

Hello my darling little  boy   I don’t often write just to you, its normally to you and your sister, or just to your sister. I guess its a function of losing you when we did, never really getting the opportunity to know you properly, to hold you and love you and to see your personality develop. You were also so very very sick in my tummy for the last 13 days and were born with absolutely everything stacked against you. As I have written about before, when they were wheeling me into theatre to deliver you, I remember praying,…

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My dream of you – by Simone

Hello my baby girl I dreamt of you a few nights ago. I haven’t done that in a long time. And the dream was so so real. It was in our house, in your room. It was all very very vivid. You had died and we had put your body back in your cot so that we could go and look at you when we wanted to. I was chatting to your dad about how much I missed you and he said I should go and look at you in your cot and give you a kiss and maybe it…

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Hospice Talk Video – by Simone

Someone was kind enough to video my talk that I did so here it is for anyone who might be interested. There is a small portion towards the end that was not videoed and so I included the text for completeness sake.

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