From February, 2016

Belsie’s Memorial Service Program

I miss you baby girl, so so very much. Today I am just attempting to have a day. I thought I should share your memorial program on here as we haven’t done that before. I love you xx Isabella Memorial Programme_1

5 months today – by Simone

My darling Belsie It’s 5 months since you left us. How is that even possible???? The pain still feels so raw, so new, my mind still so consumed with thoughts of you. The last 5 months really have been a blur, a fuzzy mess of mostly non-recollection, of going through life on auto-pilot.  2 dear friends sent me this poem the other day independently and it is so very true. I think it might help people understand me better? And it’s been an important thing for me to understand. Throughout my life I have been the kind of person who…

Big big waves – by Simone

Hello my Belsie   The waves come and hit me when I least expect them. Big waves. I am traveling for the next 2 days and so I am away from your brother and dad, so maybe that’s why I am feeling them so acutely today. But they are almost overwhelming. I need to hold it together but it’s tough. I am feeling anxious being so far away from Murray and Dad, not just being a maximum of 5 minutes away from them if I need to get to them.   I also drove the road from Pretoria to the…

Our present from Belsie – our blessing, our gift, new life – by Simone

I thought long and hard before doing this post, as I have never been one to plaster this sort of thing all over social media. I was always too scared to “jinx” something. But in light of the fact that we have been so open about our inner most feelings over the last 4.5 months, our hurt, our sadness, I thought it also appropriate to share our joy. We are expecting a baby boy at the beginning of August. I am 13 weeks pregnant and so far everything looks good. We feel blessed on so many levels. The fact that…

Our celebration of you today Belsie, mostly in photos – by Simone

Hi my baby girl I know you saw it all but here are just a few snippets from the day. It was hard, so so hard, but as always made easier by the amazing support we received from our family, friends and community. We have been encased with love and support, oh how fortunate we are. I cried a lot, but I also smiled for you and celebrated you. We talked about you, told Murray it was your birthday, remembered you and reminisced. Terry came and did a beautiful blessing for us and for your garden, and brought your ashes…

Happy 1st Birthday Belsie Poppet – by Simone

My darling precious angel, Belsie   Happy 1st birthday my precious daughter.   I am going to be completely honest, I am finding it almost impossible to get my head around today. The fact that it’s your first birthday that you would have celebrated with us, and it’s the first birthday we are having to celebrate without you. How do I ever even start to get my head around the fact that I didn’t even get to celebrate one single birthday with you?   Had you been alive what would we have done to celebrate your day? I could pretend…