From June, 2017

You make my heart so warm darling Murray!

  My darling Murray   You had your grommets re-done this morning, and while its a tiny operation, these things always do make me anxious. You reacted so badly to your last 2 anaesthetics and it seems that you get post-operative delirium after anaesthetics. The anaethetist treated you with different meds this time around and our experience was completely different, thank goodness, all calm! You sit still for so little these days and aren’t big on cuddling unless its the middle of the night and you want me to lie with you! So to have you still and quiet for…

Oh, how I failed you – by Simone 

I try to keep these feelings at bay, I try to smother them and not to think about them, but sometimes it’s just too hard and they boil over. The most important thing as a mother is to keep your children safe and alive. You can mess up on absolutely everything else but as long as you keep them alive you have done okay. But I didn’t manage to do that. I failed at the most important thing I was ever given to do. And so everything else I have done in my life seems pointless. Why couldnt I fail…