I know it’s wrong I know you’re gone, but for you in my arms, one last song. My mind is full of your smiling face, my hands tremble, I cannot brace. When I sit with boy boy for his morning milk, my love for you pulses, sharp like silk. I shed a tear with him because he knows, he pats my head he remembers our rose. The pain I know will go in time, but oh I miss you, face sublime. The void in me a massive gape, I know in time I will escape. My dear sweet mom is…
“Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak knits up the o-er wrought heart and bids it break.” ― William Shakespeare, Macbeth
From October, 2015
Look what your mom did Belsie – by Simone
Look what I did baby girl – yes I know, as your Aunty Carol says “Wow, that is left field!!!”. Because it really is for me. But it just feels so right. I now have your name emblazoned on my wrist forever and always!!!! You are forever in my heart and on my mind, but I also wanted you physically on me always, as my constant declaration of being your mom. From the day we conceived you I became your mom forever, and even though you are not physically with us on this earth anymore, you will be with…
Name your grief and walk the road – by James
“When someone you love dies, and you’re not expecting it, you don’t lose her all at once; you lose her in pieces over a long time—the way the mail stops coming, and her scent fades from the pillows and even from the clothes in her closet and drawers. Gradually, you accumulate the parts of her that are gone. Just when the day comes—when there’s a particular missing part that overwhelms you with the feeling that she’s gone, forever—there comes another day, and another specifically missing part.” John Irving – A prayer for Owen Meany It’s been six weeks since our…
My darling rose – by James
My darling rose I see you when I wake at night, a fitful sadness despair through my plight. I see you in the mirrors at home, we always played there now you roam. In my heart you always pure, you’ll touch me always and help me endure. A screaming pain that pulses through me, Oh Lord please hold my child in gentle lee. My ship is sailing a rudderless stave, your smiling face with grace it gave, my joy to have a little girl, your memory always a welcome burl. Isabella my sweet, my darling rose, I…
My 1000 foot wave arrived – by Simone
My angel child, I feel like my heart is shattering into 1000 pieces. I miss you tonight with a hurt I didn’t know was physically possible to endure. I keep on seeing that beautiful, happy, shining face of yours and then I remember that I will never get to kiss you or hold you again and the pain is too much. I feel like a million daggers are being stuck into my body and someone is trying to rip my heart out my chest. I long for you, my entire body aches for you. The waves are rolling in, over…
Waves – they are big today… – Simone
“I wish I could say you just get used to people dying. I never did. I don’t want to. It tears a hole in me whenever someone I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don’t want it to “not matter” I don’t want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. As for grief, it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with wreckage…
A letter to my little girl from your mom, a month after you left us – By Simone
My darling, precious baby girl, my Belsie You left us a month ago today and I miss you with a yearning I didn’t know was possible. It’s been 30 days, long days and nights, and yet for the most part I don’t think the reality of your leaving us has sunk in at all. Most of the time I feel like I am floating above the world, in a bubble, watching what is going on from a far. I actually went to acupuncture this week and she told me that there was still a lot of shock in my…
How can we help our bereaved friends and family – by James
Many of us struggle to know what we can do for people who have suffered loss. Part of the wonderful support we have been receiving has been through daily dinners delivered to us by our caring community. This was made possibly through a website called https://www.takethemameal.com created by a person in the U.S. who themselves lost their spouse. It’s a simple to setup food calendar where people can put their names to dates and then deliver food to the bereaved family. I will in future be building a website for our NGO Isabella1509 which will include helpful information and several ‘helping…
Open your Heart – by James
When you walk your road of darkened skies, your saddened soul swims through my eyes. Remember that your departed loves you, your silent mourning not the glue. When you hold your tears and do not speak, your grief remains you always weak. When your ship is righted so you think, your mind will darken you’re on the brink. When you say its fine to all who ask, but you’re really not an empty cask. Your pain needs voice your hurt is real You need to feel and talk to heal. Remember that the world is good, And people will love…
A comforting thought – from Simone
A very comforting thought shared with us by our friend Richman Nghona who also sang Amazing Grace so beautifully at our Belsie’s memorial service. “In Hinduism, they believe that when a soul is at it’s most refined but has one last ‘life-perfecting’ task to do, it returns again for a very short little life. The parents are specifically chosen by that soul to help it realise its completion, and then it moves on. It is considered an honour to be chosen for the duty of assisting…and in return, the parents are so much more blessed with a deeper knowledge and…
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