Hello my darling girl   It’s Christmas Day, what would have been your first, but life robbed us of having that milestone with you, one of so so many. We haven’t really celebrated Christmas this year – no crackers, red and green, flashing lights. It’s just seemed too hard to muster the energy to do anything.   Yesterday was a very very hard day for me, and today too. I have cried a lot, just missing you so very much and feeling the lack of your presence so much. The physical and mental pain are so acute.   Your brother…

My darling baby girl   Its been 3 months today since you left us. And it’s also a Tuesday, so 13 weeks since that fateful day. Somebody asked me the other day if I remember anything from the day you died. I remember every single tiny detail. I don’t remember much from the days that followed, but from that day…everything. It will be indelibly marked in my brain, mind and heart forever, and I will be forever changed.   As I sit here this morning, with your brother cuddled up next to me (for the 2 seconds that he actually…

Good morning precious girl My heart bleeds for you today. We are on the beach with your precious brother and he is running around having an absolute ball with your dad in the waves. Running up to them as they retreat from him and then running away from them as they come towards him again. I am sitting on the towel, watching them play, and being so acutely aware of the lack of your presence. You would have been just over 10 months old now, and I know you would have been sitting here next to me, stuffing sand into…