Today marks 8 years of remission from cancer. I still need to have my annual CT scan and bloods done tomorrow, but I saw my doctors last week and they were happy with things. There have been a lot of bumps along the way, and some pretty big health scares but on these days I am reminded again what a privilege it is to be alive. To be given the opportunity to live life to its fullest. Because it really is a gift and privilege. And so today I celebrate being alive, healthy and cancer free.   It’s been a…

Wow, this has been a really tough post to write! I have felt exhausted just at the thought of it. But I also know that the discipline of reflecting on the past and planning for the future is really important and a clear commitment to myself. I have come back from a lovely, relaxing holiday but I am still feeling exhausted and could quite happily have at least another 2 weeks of holiday! But reality and responsibility calls and that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I know that I normally thrive with routine and discipline so let’s give 2019 all…

This afternoon I had the most amazing experience at The Vineyard Hotel, at your bench, where your ashes are buried. I met a dear friend there (whose little boy went to heaven a year ago) for a catch up and as we walked down towards tyour bench I was met with this sight. A perfectly planned marriage proposal which was about to take place. We chatted to the guy who informed us that his girlfriend would soon be arriving and that he hoped she would say yes. He had sent her on a “treasure hunt” to all their favourite places…

Since my recent miscarriage and all the trauma that came along with that, as well as my recent surgery where I nearly died, my PTSD has definitely got worse again, and along with this my social anxiety. I struggled with PTSD after Bella died, with extreme flashbacks multiple time per day, and then after losing Thomas they got even worse. I finally went on medication to help me cope with them better and also did some serious work with my psychologist. The PTSD and flashbacks got a lot better, but they have definitely reared their ugly head again.   I…

Could I be cursed? It’s honestly beginning to feel that way! I must have been a very very bad person in my previous life! So after I wrote about having a good cancer check up and bloods, I went for my annual CT scan just as a routine additional check. The next day I was sitting in the SAA lounge about to fly to Johannesburg when I received a call from my dear plastic surgeon to tell me that they had found a growth in my uterus 10cm x 9cm. I was completely calm and carried on my day as…

I had my 6 monthly cancer check this afternoon with my oncologist and plastic surgeon. I had been quite worried about it to be honest. I was pretty convinced that my cancer markers would have gone up again. With everything that my body has been through over the last few months, I honestly never assumed it would be any different. My body has been tested almost more than it was able to deal with and I know that that is when issues in your body, like cancer, are often exposed. But my tumour marker has stayed nicely low and they…

Tonight is one of those nights where everything suddenly seems to catch up with me. I am STILL in hospital with one damn complication after another. I was initially admitted back into hospital on Wednesday morning to give me some fluids, see if I needed a blood transfusion and it was expected I would be out in 24 hours. Instead, I started having massive spiking temperatures and it seemed that I have an infection/s and that surgery was on the cards for today (this was always a last resort for Steffi). The blood cultures came back today showing that I…

It’s hard to know where to start with this next chapter of our lives. A much shorter chapter than we would have liked but important nonetheless. I guess the summary is, I was pregnant, carried until 10weeks and 5 days and then had a miscarriage. But as with our family, it’s never as simple as that, is it?! For those who have been following our blog, you will know that we have desperately been trying to have another baby. I had 9 operations last year, some to try and fix my uterus, some to retrieve some very precious eggs for…