From May, 2016

When everything just feels wrong – by Simone

Everything feels wrong, uncomfortable, out of place. The only thing that doesn’t feel wrong at the moment is sleeping. It’s the only time I can escape from everything that is going on in my head, the only time that I can “forget”.   – I wake up in the morning and it feels wrong because I am so so tired and all I want to do is sleep – I get up, shower, get dressed and put make-up on to try and make myself look a bit presentable, but it feels wrong because I don’t want to look “okay”. I…

Sheryl Sandberg’s take on grief

Sheryl Sandberg (COO of Facebook) recently did the commencement address at Berkeley University where she gave a very moving and insightful look into her journey of grief after losing her husband. It’s really worth a read/listen for anybody who is grappling with grief or trying to understand it better.     Thank you, Marie. And thank you esteemed members of the faculty, proud parents, devoted friends, squirming siblings. Congratulations to all of you — and especially to the magnificent Berkeley graduating class of 2016! It is a privilege to be here at Berkeley, which has produced so many Nobel Prize…

8 months today – by Simone

My darling daughter   It’s 8 months today since you left us, and I can find no words. I have cried more than I knew was possible in the last 11 days. Crying for the loss of you all over again, crying for the loss of your brother, crying for the loss of hope, for the shattered dreams. I found it so hard to cry those first 3 months after you died, while I was still so deep in shock. But this time, I just cry and cry. I think the shock is less, but the trauma more if that…

A mothers eulogy to her son – by Simone

Today we had a private farewell to our son, Thomas. It was so very hard but I am glad that we did it. Here are some of the words I spoke, straight from my heart.   My darling Thomas   As we gather today to honor and bless you darling child of ours, my heart can’t help but be shattered into a million pieces.   You were a true blessing sent to us from Belsie, straight from heaven. A little person we had so desperately wanted but had almost been too scared to hope for. But hope I had. From…

When your already broken heart shatters – by Simone

Where to begin, oh where to begin…the last 16 days have been a complete and absolute rollercoaster ride of emotions. From initially thinking we were losing baby Thomas 2 Thursday’s ago, to things seeming to stabilise a bit; to a terrible scan, to a somewhat improved scan; from one medical complication to another; to being allowed out of hospital for a few hours 2 days in a row as a test drive to see how things went; to making it to 26 weeks and being allowed to go home with strict instructions around bed rest; to being back in hospital…

Our son Thomas

Yesterday our son Thomas Martin Blanckenberg was born at 09h00 prematurely at 26 weeks. This due to complications with both Simone and Thomas. He sadly passed away at 12h30. Simone and I know that Thomas is with his sister Isabella in heaven now embraced in her smiling warmth and love. May his soul rest in eternal peace. We thank god for our shining little boy Murray, who in this time like the last, is our shining beacon of hope and bubbling fountain of joy. “We meet but briefly in life, if we touch each other with stardust – that is…