Hello my darling girl It’s Christmas Day, what would have been your first, but life robbed us of having that milestone with you, one of so so many. We haven’t really celebrated Christmas this year – no crackers, red and green, flashing lights. It’s just seemed too hard to muster the energy to do anything. Yesterday was a very very hard day for me, and today too. I have cried a lot, just missing you so very much and feeling the lack of your presence so much. The physical and mental pain are so acute. Your brother…
“Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak knits up the o-er wrought heart and bids it break.” ― William Shakespeare, Macbeth
By Recover the gift
I am fellow traveler on life's often tumultuous roads. I have lived and worked through several life changing traumas and experiences which have shaped my path. I strive to help others overcome adversity and lead fulfilled and flourishing lives.
I have a special interest in Addiction Education and Recovery Coaching, Grief Counselling and general positive life orientation.
Its not a Christmas Tree but a Yugen Tree
Christmas is normally a joyous occasion, a time of celebration, of gift giving and receiving, of family time. But to be honest neither James nor I feel like being particularly joyous or doing too much celebrating. Fortunately Murray is just young enough that we can get away without having to do too much and letting the day go largely unnoticed. I was chatting to our grief counsellor, Peter, about how I was really battling to get my head around doing anything to celebrate Christmas (which he said was totally normal as to do anything celebratory while in the midst…
3 months today – by Simone
My darling baby girl Its been 3 months today since you left us. And it’s also a Tuesday, so 13 weeks since that fateful day. Somebody asked me the other day if I remember anything from the day you died. I remember every single tiny detail. I don’t remember much from the days that followed, but from that day…everything. It will be indelibly marked in my brain, mind and heart forever, and I will be forever changed. As I sit here this morning, with your brother cuddled up next to me (for the 2 seconds that he actually…
Dad’s bench for Belsie, a place to remember our angel, in our hearts every second of every day.
A moment at the beach – by Simone
Good morning precious girl My heart bleeds for you today. We are on the beach with your precious brother and he is running around having an absolute ball with your dad in the waves. Running up to them as they retreat from him and then running away from them as they come towards him again. I am sitting on the towel, watching them play, and being so acutely aware of the lack of your presence. You would have been just over 10 months old now, and I know you would have been sitting here next to me, stuffing sand into…
A year ago today…your impatience to join the world – by Simone
Hi baby girl Its mom here! I think of you constantly, literally every moment of every day. Its hard to actually believe that one thing can consume your mind to the almost complete exclusion of everything else. No wonder they say that in this sort of situation your brain only works at 5-10% of the capacity that it normally works at. The other 90-95% is absorbed with thinking about you. Anyway, today is a particularly pertinent day. A year ago today, you tried to come into the world at 26 weeks and 6 days. Perhaps you knew that your…
Choose to live
When you look back one day, don’t remember keeping at bay, life’s sheer joy and bountiful pleasure, because you allowed it, fade at leisure. Remember that you have all the tools, to make your place, make your rules. To take life on with all it’s trials, and come out smiling, holding the jewels. You have it in you to see the light, and grab it daily with all your might. To love with all your heart and soul, and give your loved ones a plenty bowl. Cherish your spouse and keep them near, and be the shoulder…
Tree of Light – by Simone
As has become an annual tradition for my dad and step-mom, Shelbi, they sponsor lights at the Grahamstown Hospice Tree of Light around the festive season, in remembrance of those people close to us who we have lost. It is done in memory and celebration of life. Tonight the tree was switched on after the Carols by Candlelight service at the St Michaels and St Georges Cathedral and will remain lit over the festive period. In addition to lights for my mom, grandparents, Shelbi’s dad and grandparents, we have added a light for Bella and for Riley. Very specially, K&A…
Thank you for reaching out – by Simone
We had the most uplifting and heart warming experience yesterday (Sunday). 10 days ago we received an email from people (K&A) that we don’t know, who lost their 1 year old daughter 9 days after our precious Bella left us. Their little girl died from SUDC in her crib. She was their only child and their delight and shining star. They had come across us as James went to school with a friend of theirs. This friend had been reading our blog and recommended to them that they take a look as he felt that it may help them in…
I see you …. by James
The shock of our sweet daughter’s death has left me. The anxiety filled days, where getting out of bed was near impossible, are becoming easier. But her beautiful face, smiling at me so sweetly when I played hide and seek with her in the mirrors at home, is a constant recurring thought. I would walk with her to the lounge when Simone gave Murray his dinner to close the curtains. She would have one hand on the back of my neck the other holding my ears. When I close the curtains every evening now, I see her there. When I…
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