My darling Belsie and Thomas Today has been a day filled with you, my 2 babies – amazing and hard all at the same time. I started off this morning as I do most days spending some quiet time in your garden, just thinking and feeling closer to you. Murray informed me once again this morning that Sissie was happy because her garden was beautiful. I then had an experience with 2 girls who wanted to learn more about you – my 2 precious angels, my children in heaven. I will write more about this at a…
“Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak knits up the o-er wrought heart and bids it break.” ― William Shakespeare, Macbeth
By Recover the gift
I am fellow traveler on life's often tumultuous roads. I have lived and worked through several life changing traumas and experiences which have shaped my path. I strive to help others overcome adversity and lead fulfilled and flourishing lives.
I have a special interest in Addiction Education and Recovery Coaching, Grief Counselling and general positive life orientation.
What not to say – by Simone
James posted this link about a year ago now, and I came across the article by Tim Lawrence again this morning. In re-reading it I realized once again how powerful it is, and just how very very true! Some of the most powerful words in the article are the following: “The ones who helped—the only ones who helped—were those who were there. And said nothing. In that nothingness, they did everything. I am here—I have lived—because they chose to love me. They loved me in their silence, in their willingness to suffer with me, alongside me, and through me. They…
Some light appears – by Simone
Its been a little while since I have written. Not because I don’t think of you pretty much every moment of the day my darling child. Because I do. I feel like I am slowly starting to make a little bit of progress in dealing with my grief. I was in such a dark place for so long, crawling along the seabed, unsure of how to possibly go on, how I would ever see any light. But now slowly, that very heavy feeling on my chest, the near suffocation, the constant darkness is starting to lift. Some days are…
A few things I have learnt about grief – by Simone
I have read so much about dealing with grief, what to do, what not to do, tips on what people should remember when somebody they know has experienced grief. In all my reading I have found that while everybody’s journey is unique, there is a huge amount of commonality in what people feel and what they wished others knew about grief. My journey of grief is still relatively new, and I feel like I still have a long way to go, but there certainly are a few things that may help those dealing with grief in some shape or form…
Thank you – by James and Simone
Its been almost 12 months since we started this blog. I must admit that in the beginning I was very skeptical about this whole “blogging” thing, about putting ourselves out there. But we were motivated by 2 things – wanting to ensure that Bella (and then Thomas’) names and memories continued to live on far beyond their time on earth; and wanting to help those who were also travelling a journey of grief. And we think that we have in some way been able to achieve these 2 things over the last year. But we wanted to thank each…
A whole year has passed – by Simone
Oh my Belsie, my darling daughter How I have dreaded this day… for weeks and months now…the day 1 year ago that you left this earth. Each day this week prior to today has been almost unbearable, the anticipation of today almost eating me alive. In all that I have read they say that apparently the build up to the day is generally worse than the day itself? And I must say, I woke up this morning with a sense of calm and peace, not as distraught and devastated as I have been the last few days. I can…
Our Painting and Vision – by Simone
A few weeks ago I had a very surreal experience. I went for a run and while listening to my iPod, “You Raise Me Up” by Josh Groban started to play. Not only is this a beautiful song and incredibly pertinent for right now, this is also the song that my dear friend Sass (Sarah Stuart (van Lingen)) walked down the aisle to. Sass died tragically 2.5 years ago leaving her husband, family and 2 beautiful boys behind. The song was playing loudly in my ears and my entire mind and body were filled with the words of this wonderful song. I…
I know profound – by James
I had only skirted the depths, I had only tiptoed on my anguish, I had but tempted my sorrow. Losing my sweet Isabella and Thomas, brought me to my knees, no place to hide my pain, no place to bury my tears, only the unabated feeling of utter loss, utter devastation. The knowledge that I will never hug you again, that I will never see your smiling face again, my daily cross to bear. I will not see you grow into beautiful people, I will never walk you down the aisle, hold your children and glow with the…
Your beach sunset – by Simone
My darling Thomas Just as we have a beautiful beach sunset for your sister Bella’s sunset , we had one done for you as well. We had to wait more than 3 months for it to arrive but it was worth the wait! We are now going to have each of them beautifully framed and put up in our dressing room as the start of our memory wall for you and your sister. Your mom loves you both, more than I will ever be able to put into words. xx
11 months today – by Simone
My darling Bella It’s dark here, very very dark. The massive waves come constantly and I feel like I am being held under water indefinitely. I feel like it’s the worst it’s been in the last 11 months. The undealt with grief from your death and the grief and trauma from your brother’s death. It’s all just so so much, too much. Thank goodness your dad is doing okay at the moment and he can carry us both. As exhausting as this grief is for me, I know it is also so hard for him as he feels…
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