A day filled with my 2 babies – by Simone
My darling Belsie and Thomas
Today has been a day filled with you, my 2 babies – amazing and hard all at the same time.
I started off this morning as I do most days spending some quiet time in your garden, just thinking and feeling closer to you. Murray informed me once again this morning that Sissie was happy because her garden was beautiful.
I then had an experience with 2 girls who wanted to learn more about you – my 2 precious angels, my children in heaven. I will write more about this at a later stage but it was so lovely to have an opportunity to talk about you for an hour.
It also looks like we have found the place where we are going to lay your ashes to rest. Finding just the right place has seemed almost impossible, everything has felt wrong, but finally we have come across a place that we feel really works for what we want for your final resting place, the last of your physical remains. More about that to follow too. But we spent a lot of time there this afternoon, Murray running around having a ball, and us feeling closer to you both and it was wonderful.
And then this evening I went to a church service. The 2 November marks All Souls Day which is the day that you commemorate the faithful departed, particularly ones relatives. I remember the service last year being particularly hard for me Belsie as we had just lost you. I haven’t really been to church since Thomas died, but today felt like the right day to go. Both your names were read out in the service, I lit a candle for each of you and said a little prayer, and the departing hymn was just so appropriate, “For All The Saints”, both my school hymn and more importantly the final hymn we sung at your funeral Belsie. A hard but beautiful reminder of that day.
I love you my darling children, and love the fact that my day today was filled with the 2 of you.
I love you always
Your mom x
Simone, thank you for your heartfelt, moving address this morning in Grahamstown; all you said comes from a place of pain, and rang true with the many women present who, too, had lost children. There is a community of us out there.