By Recover the gift

I am fellow traveler on life's often tumultuous roads. I have lived and worked through several life changing traumas and experiences which have shaped my path. I strive to help others overcome adversity and lead fulfilled and flourishing lives.
I have a special interest in Addiction Education and Recovery Coaching, Grief Counselling and general positive life orientation.

Practical things I wish I had known the day my children died – by Simone

It recently came to my attention that a friend of mine who is a remarkable photographer is part of an organisation overseas where they give the gift of photographic memories to families that have experienced stillbirths, premature births or have children with serious and terminal illnesses. The fact that she is able to give this gift to parents, something physical which they will have to hold on to, and remember their loved one by is remarkable. And it takes a truly special individual to be able to do this. Which she is.   And this got me thinking about the…

8 years in remission today – by Simone

Today marks 8 years of remission from cancer. I still need to have my annual CT scan and bloods done tomorrow, but I saw my doctors last week and they were happy with things. There have been a lot of bumps along the way, and some pretty big health scares but on these days I am reminded again what a privilege it is to be alive. To be given the opportunity to live life to its fullest. Because it really is a gift and privilege. And so today I celebrate being alive, healthy and cancer free.   It’s been a…

Today 3 years ago my darling Thomas, you were born and then left us – by Simone

Today my darling Thomas, three years ago, you were born. You gave us a precious 3 hours, and then went to be with your sister in heaven. I have been trying to think of today as your birthday, the day you were born, rather than the day you died. But it’s so so damn hard. Because this day is shadowed by the fact that you died. And the traumatic way that you came into this world. And these anniversary days just suck, period, no matter what you try to do, and how you try to frame it. They are just…

Pushing out of my comfort zone – by Simone

After everything that happened last year and the pressure I put my body under, I made a promise to myself to look after “me” more. To sleep more, stress less, exercise more, eat more healthily, push myself less. And most importantly to learn to listen to my body. To go back to basics a bit and not to stubbornly just push because that is what I have always done. Some of these things have been easier to do than others. And one of the big areas I have been focusing on is trying to get my body stronger through exercise.…

My talk to DSG – by Simone

  I have had the privilege the last 2 days to talk at my old school DSG, about grief and loss. I felt really honoured to be able to interact with these amazing young woman in their most formative years. Too many of them have already faced grief and loss, or had to support friends who are grieving. As I said to them, I so wish that I could protect them from the pain of loss and grief, but I know that I can’t so I hope that in this way I am able to have a bit of an…

Today is your 4th birthday Bella – by Simone

Happy 4th birthday my precious angel daughter! Oh how clearly I remember that day you were born. You being placed in my arms for the first time on that Sunday, so calm and peaceful, no screaming the room down as your brother had done! You were a joy from that moment on. And we continue to find times of joy through your memory and through what you continue to teach us, even though you are not here. This year your birthday feels slightly different in that your darling brother is so so excited about it and has insisted that we…

2019 – I am coming for you! – by Simone

Wow, this has been a really tough post to write! I have felt exhausted just at the thought of it. But I also know that the discipline of reflecting on the past and planning for the future is really important and a clear commitment to myself. I have come back from a lovely, relaxing holiday but I am still feeling exhausted and could quite happily have at least another 2 weeks of holiday! But reality and responsibility calls and that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I know that I normally thrive with routine and discipline so let’s give 2019 all…

Happiness and love at your resting place – by Simone

This afternoon I had the most amazing experience at The Vineyard Hotel, at your bench, where your ashes are buried. I met a dear friend there (whose little boy went to heaven a year ago) for a catch up and as we walked down towards tyour bench I was met with this sight. A perfectly planned marriage proposal which was about to take place. We chatted to the guy who informed us that his girlfriend would soon be arriving and that he hoped she would say yes. He had sent her on a “treasure hunt” to all their favourite places…

Your Photobooks my Belsie – by Simone

Hello my darling daughter   So for 3 years I have been putting off doing your Photobooks as I just have not been able to bring myself to immerse myself in your photos, to sort through and choose the “best” ones of you to put in a book. Because every single photo that I do have of you is precious and tells a story, evokes a memory. I have tried a few times, and every time only gotten through a few photos before giving up, just finding it too difficult for me to do and requiring too much strength.  …

A letter to you my darling Thomas – by Simone

Hello my darling little  boy   I don’t often write just to you, its normally to you and your sister, or just to your sister. I guess its a function of losing you when we did, never really getting the opportunity to know you properly, to hold you and love you and to see your personality develop. You were also so very very sick in my tummy for the last 13 days and were born with absolutely everything stacked against you. As I have written about before, when they were wheeling me into theatre to deliver you, I remember praying,…