By Recover the gift

I am fellow traveler on life's often tumultuous roads. I have lived and worked through several life changing traumas and experiences which have shaped my path. I strive to help others overcome adversity and lead fulfilled and flourishing lives.
I have a special interest in Addiction Education and Recovery Coaching, Grief Counselling and general positive life orientation.

4 years today darling Belsie – by Simone

It’s 4 years today my darling Belsie, since you died. 4 whole years. In some ways I remember every single moment of that day like it was yesterday, in other ways it feels like a couple of lifetimes ago. The one thing I do know for sure is that not a single day goes past that I don’t miss you so very very deeply and long to see you again. As per always we went away over this time, and I really do find that this makes it easier to bear. And we had a really lovely weekend together, just…

Birthday reflections – by Simone

It was my birthday this weekend. Since Bella died, birthdays for me have been hard. She died 3 weeks after my 34th birthday and so it always felt that that specific birthday marked the last time I innocently went on and celebrated life, completely oblivious to what was to come, how much our lives were going to be completely changed forever. How my heart was going  to be shattered into a million pieces and how hard it was going to be to paste it together again. My first birthday after Bella died, Thomas had also just died and I was…

Practical things I wish I had known the day my children died – by Simone

It recently came to my attention that a friend of mine who is a remarkable photographer is part of an organisation overseas where they give the gift of photographic memories to families that have experienced stillbirths, premature births or have children with serious and terminal illnesses. The fact that she is able to give this gift to parents, something physical which they will have to hold on to, and remember their loved one by is remarkable. And it takes a truly special individual to be able to do this. Which she is.   And this got me thinking about the…

8 years in remission today – by Simone

Today marks 8 years of remission from cancer. I still need to have my annual CT scan and bloods done tomorrow, but I saw my doctors last week and they were happy with things. There have been a lot of bumps along the way, and some pretty big health scares but on these days I am reminded again what a privilege it is to be alive. To be given the opportunity to live life to its fullest. Because it really is a gift and privilege. And so today I celebrate being alive, healthy and cancer free.   It’s been a…

Today 3 years ago my darling Thomas, you were born and then left us – by Simone

Today my darling Thomas, three years ago, you were born. You gave us a precious 3 hours, and then went to be with your sister in heaven. I have been trying to think of today as your birthday, the day you were born, rather than the day you died. But it’s so so damn hard. Because this day is shadowed by the fact that you died. And the traumatic way that you came into this world. And these anniversary days just suck, period, no matter what you try to do, and how you try to frame it. They are just…

Pushing out of my comfort zone – by Simone

After everything that happened last year and the pressure I put my body under, I made a promise to myself to look after “me” more. To sleep more, stress less, exercise more, eat more healthily, push myself less. And most importantly to learn to listen to my body. To go back to basics a bit and not to stubbornly just push because that is what I have always done. Some of these things have been easier to do than others. And one of the big areas I have been focusing on is trying to get my body stronger through exercise.…

My talk to DSG – by Simone

  I have had the privilege the last 2 days to talk at my old school DSG, about grief and loss. I felt really honoured to be able to interact with these amazing young woman in their most formative years. Too many of them have already faced grief and loss, or had to support friends who are grieving. As I said to them, I so wish that I could protect them from the pain of loss and grief, but I know that I can’t so I hope that in this way I am able to have a bit of an…

Today is your 4th birthday Bella – by Simone

Happy 4th birthday my precious angel daughter! Oh how clearly I remember that day you were born. You being placed in my arms for the first time on that Sunday, so calm and peaceful, no screaming the room down as your brother had done! You were a joy from that moment on. And we continue to find times of joy through your memory and through what you continue to teach us, even though you are not here. This year your birthday feels slightly different in that your darling brother is so so excited about it and has insisted that we…

2019 – I am coming for you! – by Simone

Wow, this has been a really tough post to write! I have felt exhausted just at the thought of it. But I also know that the discipline of reflecting on the past and planning for the future is really important and a clear commitment to myself. I have come back from a lovely, relaxing holiday but I am still feeling exhausted and could quite happily have at least another 2 weeks of holiday! But reality and responsibility calls and that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I know that I normally thrive with routine and discipline so let’s give 2019 all…

Happiness and love at your resting place – by Simone

This afternoon I had the most amazing experience at The Vineyard Hotel, at your bench, where your ashes are buried. I met a dear friend there (whose little boy went to heaven a year ago) for a catch up and as we walked down towards tyour bench I was met with this sight. A perfectly planned marriage proposal which was about to take place. We chatted to the guy who informed us that his girlfriend would soon be arriving and that he hoped she would say yes. He had sent her on a “treasure hunt” to all their favourite places…