My darling Murray
You had your grommets re-done this morning, and while its a tiny operation, these things always do make me anxious. You reacted so badly to your last 2 anaesthetics and it seems that you get post-operative delirium after anaesthetics. The anaethetist treated you with different meds this time around and our experience was completely different, thank goodness, all calm! You sit still for so little these days and aren’t big on cuddling unless its the middle of the night and you want me to lie with you! So to have you still and quiet for 2 hours today, lying in my arms for most of the time, what a privilege it was! I soaked up every moment, knowing that my little boy is growing up too quickly and that these moments will happen more and more infrequently.
You make my heart so so warm! You are fiesty, fiery, independent, strong willed, loving, generous and as your ENT said this morning, “the leader of the pack”. Parenting a child like you definitely isn’t easy but I wouldn’t want it any other way! Despite how strict and strong we have to be with you, because if you stiff any opportunity to push the boundary you will, parenting you is so rewarding!!
You have come out with some real beauts lately, your constant inquiring mind working in overdrive all the time! From sitting in the back of the car, instructing me to buy a TV for the car so that you can watch Lion Guard when I drive so you wont distract me, to telling me that I am your hero. This morning you snatched my phone out of my hand, proclaiming that I had had enough screen time for today. I often ask you to stay little forever as I don’t want you to grow up – the other day you very sweetly informed me that I need to let you grow up, because otherwise you can’t go hunting with dad! The other night while dad was reading you a story in bed you asked him what knowledge is (you aren’t even 4 yet!!!). And then proceeded to ask a whole lot of questions about knowledge including asking why knowledge was important. I just love how your little brain works, figuring it all out.
Thank you for being you my darling boy. Thank you for doing so much to mend my broken heart and to delight me every day. Being a mother to you is the best gift I could ever have received, the most important thing I will ever do. You have been through so much already in your little life and I am so so proud of you, just for being you!
I love you always, my darling first born!