Smacked straight in the gut – by Simone

My darling Bella

I have literally just been punched straight in the stomach. I have just received an email from one of the schools that I had your name down at to tell me that the admission process was starting and that we would hear shortly about your place. I feel sick to the pit of my stomach.

About 2 weeks after you died I emailed all the schools where I had put your name down to tell them that you had died and to avoid them contacting me in the future. This particular school actually had the most heartfelt and empathetic response, but I guess they never actually got to taking your name off the list. Its also the school that in all likelihood you would have gone to. The school I would have been waiting with bated breath to hear from had you still been alive. Just another reminder of all the milestones that we miss on a daily basis because you aren’t here anymore.

Its days like this when you are going along okay and then the waves comes from out of nowhere and dumps you so damn hard against the sea floor.

Oh baby girl, how I wish things were different.

I love you always xx


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