To our sweet little boy, Murray – by Simone

Our darling son, Murray

 

You are our blessing, our lifeline, our gift. What on earth would we do without you? How on earth would we have got through the last 134 days? You have given us the reason to carry on, the reason to get out of bed in the mornings, to shower, get dressed and sometimes to smile. You are at the most wonderful age. Learning new things every day, absorbing everything, flexing that little personality of yours,

 

Even though you are still so so little, you are just so in-tune, so clever. You know now that mom and dad go off to work and that we always come home. You used to really perform when we left, but you are mostly so matter of fact about it now. And since you have started school, I think it makes your understanding of us going to work, and coming back, easier. But this morning, just after dad had left for work, you looked up at me and said, “Daddy gone to work” to which I replied “Yes, daddy is at work but he will be home later.” You then had a little pause, looked at me again and said “Sissie gone to work”. I had no idea how to respond. I told you that Sissie was happy in heaven, but I really just didn’t know what to say to you, to help you comprehend what has happened. You are still trying to figure this all out in your head my little boy, and I am so very proud of you.

 

The night before last, I was upstairs getting things ready for your bath and you were supposed to be following me up the stairs. You started screaming from the bottom of the stairs in hysterical excitement, “Sissie, sissie, sissie” and I could hear you jumping up and down. I came running down the stairs and you grabbed my hand and dragged me into the family room shouting “Sissie, Sissie”. I am not sure what you felt or saw, but I would like to think you had a little sign from your sissie too.

 

Below are 2 poems sent to us by Cherri which I thought were just so perfect and pertinent to now.

 

Thank you my baby boy, for helping me to see the joy in life still, for allowing me to mourn what we have lost, but to just be even more grateful than I ever thought possible for what we have. I love you and will be the best mom to you I can possibly be every single day.

Xx

 

“One day you’re going to grow up
And ask the question why
God took your little sister
To live up in the sky

 

 

Why couldn’t she stay here with you
To laugh to grow and play
She was such a special gift to give
So cruel to take her away

 

 

The question that you ask my child
I’ve thought about a while
I can’t be sure my answers right
But I hope it will make you smile

 

 

Our babys up in heaven high
With the angels she will play
And whenever she gets sleepy
On a cloud is where she’ll lay

 

 

She has a set of golden wings
And a very special job to do
For wherever you go and whatever you do
Shell be watching over you!

 

 

Although you can not see her
She Is always by your side,
It’s just that when you turn to look
She will fly away and hide!

 

 

It’s just a game she likes to play
She thinks you like it too
She watches as you sleep at night  

then tries to make your dreams come true!

 

Our baby will always be with you
You will never be apart
And every time you think of her
You’ll feel her in your heart

 

 

Our angels not the only one
With a special job to do
She will help you out with yours
But god gave you one too!

 

 

Keep your mummy and your daddy strong
Just like you always do
Live your life and do your best
And make them proud of you”

 

 

“my mum she tells a lot of lies,
she never did before,
but from now on until she dies,
she’ll tell a whole lot more,
ask my mum how she is
and because she can’t explain
she will tell a little lie
because she can’t describe the pain
ask my mum how she is
she’ll say “i’m alright”
if that’s the truth, then tell me
why does she cry each night
ask my mum how she is
she seems to cope so well
she didn’t have a choice you see
nor the strength to yell
ask my mum how she is
“i’m fine”, “i’m well”, “i’m coping”
for god’s sake mum tell the truth
just say your heart is broken
She’ll love me all her life
I loved her all of mine
but if you ask her how she is
she’ll lie and say she’s fine
i am here in heaven
i cannot hug her from here
if she lies to you don’t listen
hug her and hold her near
on the day we meet again
we’ll smile and i’ll be bold
i’ll say “you’re lucky to get in here, mum
with all the lies you told!”

 

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