I was interviewed for a book that 2 Swiss girls were doing, 6 months after Thomas died and 14 months after Bella died. They were travelling around the world interviewing people about the most influencing moments in their lives. They have put together an amazing book of pictures and stories of 80 individuals and it is such a privilege to be part of this. It was first published in German and more recently has been published in English and I was lucky enough to receive a copy. Thank you Sandra and Sandra!
I look back now and I think about where I was at that time. I was in such a dark place. I had only just started proper therapy and I was really struggling with PTSD. We were still trying to get my medication right to help the constant flashbacks and I was barely managing to get through each day. I look at the photo in the book of me and I immediately start to criticize it for all the naked truth it shows. The fact that it doesn’t show me as perfect, but as weathered and “scarred”. That my make up and hair isn’t perfect, that my eyebrows aren’t perfectly groomed, my skin flawed. That I don’t look “together”. I just look really really sad, broken. Which is exactly what I was I guess.
When Murray saw the photo his first question was “Mom, why do you look so sad?”. And I guess that’s spot on really. Because at that time, I was completely broken. Barely holding it together on the outside and certainly not managing on the inside. And that’s the whole point of this I guess, isn’t it? To show the bare truth, warts and all, to be vulnerable enough to share it all, in the hope that by sharing you can help others.
The book has an amazing selection of stories and pictures of people from all over the world and I feel privileged to be included and to be allowed to share our story.
You can check out the book on http://www.peoplelikeus-book.com and in Facebook and Instagram.